suck it, trebek

so i've occasionally been known to claim that i am the smartest man EVER.

here's a guy that won't get much argument to the contrary:

Jennings' Jeopardy winnings: $662,760

eric lau, dogwalker

the dog walking days are over. now it's back to the quest to regain my inner peace. the last week and a half have brought a decrease in inner turmoil, but not really peace. it's more of an exhaustion and resignation than anything. so, it's less negative, but not yet positive. non-positives, if you will. ok then.

so word on the street is that i'm being sent to guam for two weeks. i leave july 7th. the project is gonna be really labor-intensive and tiring. but i'm sure there'll be some fun in there, too. we'll see. but there'll be no blogging for two weeks. TWO WEEKS. that sucks. it probably sucks more for me than for you. that's easy to say, because there really are only a small handful of you. thimble-full of you.

what's up, fatlip?

this song ("what's up, fatlip?" by fatlip) just came up on my randomized playlist. the song, as well as the video, is brilliant.

some articles on fatlip: one and two

and the video: here

notes on surfing

where i went: rockpile rights. or the surf break that i call rockpile rights.

how you know you're there: you can line up the left edge of the 'ilikai hotel (the light blue, fairly wide building) with the second column of apartments from the right side of the left tower of the discovery bay buildings (the two, tall, twin brown towers). that gets you about the right place up and down the shore. then, you look to diamond head. its leading edge should meet up with the top-left corner of the middle building of the three just to the right of the natatorium. that'll get you the right distance from shore.

it's my favorite south-shore spot. i'm often greeted there by a few people. sometimes the "few" is closer to 30. ugh.

what i'm doing wrong: i need to remember to turn into my turns. or maybe it's better described as "setting up" my turns. you can't just turn. you need to set it up by leaning the right way and turning at the right angle and speed. i'm not doing this. i don't think about turning until it's the exact moment that i need/want to. it's frustrating to know that i used to do all this without thinking. it's simple and convincing proof that i'm getting much worse at surfing.

how i reacted: after flipping off of a wave upon attempting to turn without setting up the turn, i surfaced through the foam and said, "fuck this. i'm horrible. i'm going in."

and so i did.

then i went home and walked a dog. four more walks to go...

free!

i want to say that i feel free, but i really don't feel that. the free-ness idea comes from the simple changing of the URL. hopefully that'll keep the dumber people away. hopefully. we'll see if it works, though. it'll probably just cut my readership down to nothing. or two. me and someone else. maybe. ugh.

they're moving my desk today. i feel like milton from office space. next, they're gonna take my beloved stapler. then i burn the building down and make off with hundreds of thousands of dollars. that's the plan for today. i'll keep you posted.

actually, i'm trying to hurry up and move and get the hell out of here. i'm still waiting on the reply from punahou. i'm far more worried about it than i should be. but i know that i'd be perfect for it, and it'd be perfect for me. it's an exact and perfect fit, and the result would be phenomenal for everyone involved. part of me wants to accept less, but i really know that i'm worth much, much more. so bleh. i'll keep you posted on this, too.

ok. it's time to move shit and go surf. what else can i do? sit and worry? i have been; it sucks. so i'm off. crunch crunch.

i'll leave you with my motivational saying that will hopefully keep me going through the weekend:

"wherever you go, go with all your heart" -confucius

i feel all gassy

i just found out that my big ol' 1990 oldsmobile eighty-eight gets pretty much the same mileage as my friend's 2002 nissan altima. so much for japanese cars being more fuel efficient than big american cars. and my assumption that older cars are worse just got destroyed.

mileage finder

or you can go here (click on "fuel cost savings calculator" to calculate how much money you'd save in gas by driving a toyota prius instead.

needles

i got acupucture done on my ankle sunday night. a friend came over and poked me with all these needles. i'd never gotten it done before, so i didn't really know what to expect; i was fairly nervous when the first needle went in. the first few didn't hurt at all, even though the needles are sunk in your skin 1/4"-3/8".

the idea, my friend explains, is that my chi is not flowing correctly. the ideal state is for my chi to be flowing steadily and constantly. a blockage or stagnation, as well as a deficiency, in my chi is the cause and/or result of my injuries. you got your chi all fooked? poke it with some needles. yeah.

(notes on chi:
"Chi (pronounced 'qi') is the Chinese word for life-force or cosmic energy. The Japanese call it 'ki', we Indians call it 'prana' and 'kundalini', the Apache 'diyin' and the pygmies 'mana'. Chi is the animating power that flows through all living things. A living person is filled with it; a dead person has none. It is also the life energy one senses in nature, in the cosmos around us. It is this indwelling force that manifests as the feel of a direction or a pattern frozen within an instant. Hence, in the East and specifically in the martial arts, physical action and the indwelling life force cannot be disassociated." -martial arts exponent Rashid Ansari.)

anyway, my friend is still training, so i'm not sure whether or not to fully believe her. she didn't really give me the most convincing performance, either. there were all too many "i THINK..."s and "it SHOULD..."s. my ankle was achy for an hour or so afterward. all that chi trying to realign itself.

i'll probably have her do it to my ankle again. when else am i gonna get to have some free alternative medicine treatments? i somehow need to make myself believe...

dog walker

i've been walking a dog since saturday. her name is sammy, and she's the most average dog ever. average size, average breed. probably average pooping and eating. she never lets me sleep, though. all that licking and whimpering. ugh.

walking her (3 times a day!) is getting easier. she freaks out at the sight of other dogs, cats, some birds, small children, and the elderly. and you have to watch out for broken glass. and don't walk her by the patches of grass under the trees that drop those little berries for her to eat. and then there's the poop to pick up. sweet.

i don't mind her at all. she's generally very well behaved and pleasant to be around and to play with.

does this experience make me want a dog of my own? let me answer that question with an anecdote from last night: i'm sitting on the couch, watching some mind-numbing movie called bicentennial man, and sammy's lying on the floor in front of me. she twists so that she's licking her own butt. lick lick lick. then she sits up and licks my leg.

i find it a fairly convincing argument for a fishtank.

i am the sun.

do you like it? it's another cheap knock-off. much like the kinds of crap you can buy on the street of china.

anyway, here's the original. maybe it'll make you understand the context of it all.

and no, i don't know what it says in chinese.
tell me if you do.
ok bye.

harnessing my something

considering that i spent a summer in china, with an entire month in tibet, you'd think i might know a tiny bit about meditation or an eastern sense of spirituality. maybe a little about peace and love. perhaps just a few key words to make it sound like i know something.

yeah. not so much. in reality, i know more about tibetan yaks than all that. at the time, i didn't really feel the need to figure out too much about all that stuff. i felt pretty ok with the world. recently, though, i've been feeling unsettled and restless and uneasy; all the words you find under the definition of fidgety.

so i think back to the month i spent walking very slowly to various temples and monestaries, watching the himalayan foothills rolling in the distance, and admiring the sight of tibetan prayer flags flapping in the wind at so many mountain passes. i think back to the feelings i had there, and try to figure out what is missing here. or maybe there's something extra here, an added stress or complication.

i think it has much to do with a state of mind. a state of mind as well as the prioritizing that the mind does of daily events and responsibilities. in tibet, there was a contant feeling of introspection. while i was there, i felt incredibly settled. it wasn't that i decided anything, nor that i figured out where my life was headed. it was about me just becoming ok with where i was and at peace with not knowing what was going to happen.

i've lost that recently. i've realized that i want to change where i am in my life, and i'm far too focused on the worries and problems the future may hold. i need to focus on today; what i can do today and what i should do today. keep on track, but enjoy everything i do.

i'm searching for a short, few word phrase to sum up these ideas. they range from the super cheezy to the very inside-joke-ish. suggestions are welcome.

the latest phrase comes from that wonderful (yet often hated) movie, Saving Silverman:

carpe poon!

(maybe i should have kept the post more serious. sorry.)

choices

i sit here frantically trying to get shit done so i can go home and take a nap and watch the game. then they come and talk to me very slowly. i want to say something like this line from scrubs:

"Newbie, if the next two words out of your mouth aren't 'See ya' then the third word will be 'Oh my god! My crotch! You've punched me in my crotch!'"

but instead i go with the spineless:

"yeah. ok. sure. ok. yeah. OK. i GET IT. ok. is that all? right. ok ok."

but i try to say it so they know. but, knowing them, they probably don't.

back with a something

san fran was a blast. it's chilly and strange, but fun. i miss my friends. they're good people. most of them, anyway.

and about saturday night...yeah. sorry about that. if you deserve an apology, you know what i'm talking about. if you don't, i really don't want you to know. but sorry anyway.

i had this dream last night: i was in my place, but once side of the flooring was sunk down 4-6 inches below the normal ground level. my building manager couldn't figure out why. the carpet was breaking apart and there were places where the shag was worn bald. they couldn't figure out why. then i noticed that the washer/dryer (which, in my dream, was placed right next to my bed) was dumping all the wash water onto the floor. it flowed toward the front door, then down into the ground. it kept running that way, and eventually dug a little ravine into the ground. just like a little colorado river in a miniature grand canyon. oh right, i should also mention that below the floor of my apartment was 12-15 feet (at least) of dirt and rock. anyway, the wash-water stream kept flowing and the mini-canyon started to wear away the dirt and rock underneath my bed. "undermining", i think, is the term.

all the while, i tried to get people to see what was going on and asked them to help me. all they did was say, "huh. that's weird. i don't know what's going on."

i think this dream is deep and meaningful. i just have to figure out what's deep about it and what meaning it has. any help is appreciated.

going to san fran

book it.

i'll be in san fran from 9pm thursday to 8am monday.

call me if you're in the area. i'll come over and give you a hug.

also: i have a gmail account. i'm part of the elite. finally. thanks mark

SFO

i might be headed to san fran this weekend.
we have friday off.
the airlines just need to cooperate with their rates...

motherfuckers (part 2)

the first post of with this title was about ezula, that wonderful company that hi-jacks people's computers to show their retarded ads.

this post is about work. cause seriously, i need to say something. in these last few days, i've used the word "motherfucker" more times just to refer to work things than i've used the word in any form over the past year.

i probably shouldn't go on. i'll keep listening to the new kanye west album. sit here in the corner and try to keep my hate on the DL.

motherfuckers.

wasting your flava

what am i thinking by not posting anything for over a week? i don't know. it has to do with all this extra-special fun finding its way into my life. and then there's a few things that i'm been trying to change.

seriously, though. did you see how this page looks if it goes a week without a post? it looks all fooked. sorry about that.

so what's the deal? no talkie-talk? uh...no. i guess i'm being vague on purpose. why? i've accumulated a few occasional viewers who i don't need knowing every move i make: my work people, and my parents.

with that said, i'll try to get my ass in gear and say things. i'm gonna try to write things that people can actually care about. like that post back in the day that ned commented on. it was like getting a hug from a red-haired kid with a beard. (makes sense if you know ned. sorry if you don't).

ok. here we go.

i've got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one

things haven't bee that good for people like me: people who want to have fewer beautiful women get married and/or pregnant.

julia roberts pregnant with twins

anna kornikova married and pregnant?

seriously. just stop it already.