i'm on an entirely different island today. sweet. i'm on kauai until sunday, which is a pretty welcome break from normal life. i'm gonna spend a lot of time in the sun, hopefully. just after i get my ass out of bed. it's one of those new big fluffy king-sized beds. and it is nice. and a wireless connection from the hotel!
i'm watching some lame friday morning television, and i have to say that it sucks. there's p.diddy on the proactiv skin care commercials to watch. i wonder how much they're paying him. i just can't imagine he used the product and said, "hey! i love this! blah blah blah!" nope.
now there's this biography channel show on george washington. he's played by jeff daniels. the same jeff daniels that was either the "dumb" or the "dumber" of that great movie classic. what a stepping stone that role was; now he's one of the forefathers of our fine nation.
i think that decides it for me. i'm getting the hell out of here. out of the hotel room, that is. there's surf rolling in on all shores and a cold front coming in from the north-west bringing rain. check out the pics from the last trip to kauai for an idea of what i'm doing, if you want. but note that i'm not at that super posh hotel anymore. i'm at some dinkier one without a ridiculous pool. it's still pretty nice, though. and free. yeah. no real complaints here.
so last night there's this alligator on the floor. a small one. two, maybe three feet from nose to tail. small guy. everything's fine except the fact that he's snapping at people's heels. and while with other animals that's an annoyance, with the alligator it's a more serious problem.
so we're looking all over for it. there's me and some girl and some other guy and two other girls. alligator is running all under the couch and bed and no one is really getting down and dirty to catch him. so i suck it up and get on my hands and knees and find the alligator. he's wriggling around and trying to get free, but i'm using the skills i've picked up from countless episodes of crocodile hunter to hold it by the head and keep his jaw shut.
now what to do? where should i put the alligator? i know! i'll throw it out the window. somehow i know that we're on a high enough floor so that the alligator will not bother us anymore, but low enough that the alligator has at least some chance of making it out ok.
so i go to toss the alligator out the window. but, of course, throwing an alligator out the window is never as easy as you'd think it should be. the monkey, who hasn't appeared yet, is about the size of a gallon milk jug and is sitting right where i'm going to toss the alligator. but because i'm mid-toss when i notice the monkey, i can't really stop the throw.
so the alligator goes through the window and, just as i let go, the alligator opens his jaw and quickly closes it on the monkey's right hand.
we (not me, really, but two of the girls and one of the guys) are holding on to the monkey to keep it from falling out of the window. a girl and guy are holding the monkey while the other girl tries to unhinge the alligator's jaws from the monkey. since i haven't had the smoothest relationship with the monkey (don't ask), i'm simply yelling, "chew off your arm! chew, damn you! CHEW!" he doesn't. the others look angrily at me. i shrug my shoulders in a "well, the chewing would work" kind of expression.
i've been blessed with some good music in the past few months. it's helped a lot. but i think the album that rises to the top is 'a grand don't come for free' by the streets. here are two reviews of the album:
review from NPR and from popmatters.
the reviews talk about how the excellence in the album is not in the rap, but in the story. the beauty is more than musical, it's literary. the neatness isn't in any one song, it's how each song builds upon one another to complete the story that really only paints a picture of a more-or-less ordinary day.
there are a few songs that you probably won't want to listen to many times after you get the relevant story-line details. then there are the other fun hits that you won't be able to stop listening to. they make me thinking and feeling stuff that i've been ignoring for a while. it's troubling and nice, upsetting and reassuring, depressing and uplifting. if you want the songs, let me know. sharing is caring.
cause i'm all about the love.
this weekend was filled. with crap, kind of. good crap. ok. maybe just ok crap. saturday morning was spent at a baby's 1st birthday party. or so i was told. the baby turned out to be three. happy birthday! it was a wonderful beachside birthday filled with food and drink and icing-layered cake that i touched to julie's nose several times. i got the low-down on the whole guest list. who was married to which father of which kid. and look! that guy is actually a grandfather, but is dating a girl just a few years older than his oldest kid. and since his oldest kid has kids, as does his new love interest, the potential step brothers would also be nephew-uncle. pass the cake!
then i played basketball. it's a really fun time. usually. but this time this short horrible old man was playing with us and decided to lower his shoulder into my jaw. it was as if i sprained it or something. i couldn't move my jaw for a full minute after the blow and only moved it slightly and with a lot of pain after that. i didn't get back into the game. i was afraid of what i'd do to the little man. see how nice and peaceful i am? motherfucker.
i got all my anger out lifting, then cleaned up and refueled with some curry house. then it was out to the clubs. well, to one club. the girl was modelling clothes at some place. i got in free and got to watch the pretty girls walk around on stage. then we had a drink or two while i thwarted the efforts of this guy to get with my girlfriend. blah!
then yesterday i was tired. i watched college basketball, washed blankets, ate some food, then watched the bourne identity. and the main thing i noticed about the movie was that those highly trained assassins have beautiful women as well as beautiful wardrobes.
it's pretty amazing to realize that now that i drink, i remember when st. patrick's day is and plan for it. i wear green and call up friends to see what's going on. before i drank beer, it was just another day. huh.
so last night i headed downtown to help out at murphy's big block party deal. it was a pretty fun time. i was working the beer truck outside on the street. it was my first time being anything close to an actual bartender, though i'm sure it doesn't count when the only options are bud, budlight, and longboard lager. i did eventually figure out how to pour a bunch of beers pretty quick without too much head.
you know the feeling of being at a bar and trying to order a drink, but the bartender either doesn't see you or is ignoring you? yeah, so after last night, i know what it's like to be the bartender. and he probably doesn't not-see-you. he's probably ignoring you. you're probably not a pretty girl. or more significant, you're probably drunk and obnoxious. or you don't tip well. so you'll wait until the bartender is good and ready. yelling at him and whining about being there first really won't get you served any quicker.
and about pouring beer from the tap. it's pretty satisfying. eventually you figure out the right angle to tilt the cups at and how to straighten them out to minimize spilling and foam. and it's surprising how much beer spillage is allowed when serving beer. all that foam over the edge of my cups and on my hands. i'm sure my hands will smell like beer for a week.
we moved a lot of beer. our beer cart alone must have served close to 2,000 beers. and at $4 and $5 a pop, that adds up. and we saw a lot of tips which, rumor has it, might find its way back to me. or at least a cut of the tips. and i really am not even expecting it. i was helping out just to help out. i got a free t-shirt that had a big "STAFF -- GUINESS" logo on the front, which is kinda cool. so i'm not even wanting the money. though i probably would take it if offered.
and the funny thing was that i didn't actually drink anything all night. it's st. patrick's day. i'm irish. i'm wearing green. i'm surrounded (and constantly splashed by) beer. but i might have had a sip of one. it was a shame, but also maybe a good way to stay a little healthier and have a better day-after-st.paddy's.
maybe i'll have to look for my green beer tonight. no, i think i'll just go with a black and tan. that'd be nice.
i read this article in wired just now titled Search Rank Easy to Manipulate. it was an OK description about how different businesses go about getting a higher ranking on search engines and the benefits and consequences of your ranking. then they mention how:
Another method is link spam, aka "blog comment spam," in which automated bots plaster ads with return links on the comments pages of blogs. Most common are ads for pills, porn and casinos.
they forgot to mention breast and penis enlargement products. though i suppose they could fall under the "pills" category. or the "porn" category. i guess even maybe the "casino" category. blah.
so what does that mean? it means that the more random sites that link back to you, the better your site is. blah. so the random comments spamming my blog before were motivated by someone trying to increase their page rank, as the article explains:
Another method is link spam, aka "blog comment spam," in which automated bots plaster ads with return links on the comments pages of blogs. Most common are ads for pills, porn and casinos.
so ok. i've been out of the blogging mood for a while. just over three weeks. it's not that stuff hasn't happened. a bunch of things have happened, i just haven't felt like writing. or maybe i haven't felt like telling the entire world (potentially) about it all.
but then last night i felt like i was stuck in a rut. and i decided to take a nap. then i got up and got motivated to redo my blog template. pretty, isn't it? then i flipped on my beautiful free tv and watched an episode of futurama. and fry, one of the main characters starts singing "i'm walking on sunshine". he only knows some of the words. like, the chorus. but that's enough. then he hums the rest of the chorus because he's an idiot. but it was so great. he's so carefree. walking on sunshine. and yes, my explaining it lacks any kind of interesting description or insight, but it kinda doesn't matter. maybe the summary is that there's a dumb guy so carefree and happy that he's belting out, quite badly, some song that he's feeling right then. and don't it feel good. yes, i think that's good stuff.
i didn't eat dinner last night either. i had a big school lunch and just wasn't hungry. i find that sometimes i just won't be hungry at all, and that i'll feel that food is stupid. the kind of mood where you wonder why they can't make a pill to swallow to take care of all of your nutrients so you wouldn't have to worry about eating. then a day or two later, i can't help but drive straight to mcdonalds for their delectable mcRib sandwich. pure delight. i haven't figured out why i'm like that, not hungry for a few days, then ready to eat everything. i just know that i feel kind of gross when i get into the routine of eating big meals at night. i eat all this food and it just sits there in my stomach like a brick who's angry and pouting and not moving anywhere. it makes me sleepy, but then swells in my stomach so that i can't sleep comfortably.
i think i'm gonna get a haircut today. maybe i'll shave it all off. or give myself that quarter-inch buzz so i won't have to bother buying or using shampoo for a while. i did that once. it betrayed my unexpectedly large head, broadcasting my cranial circumference to the masses. i did look pretty sporty, though. so no, i probably won't go with the buzz. i'll go to fanatic sams and get some korean lady to cut my hair by explaining my hair length preferences with pantomime and sign language. it's a gamble. will i come out of there with the haircut i was expecting? will she understand when i ask her to blend the sides and back into the top? will she understand when i tell her that yes, in fact, it IS short enough already? we'll see. we will see.